brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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