no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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