I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
