your thong is hanging out like whoa
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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