went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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