My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
