No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
