ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
