Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
