I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
