i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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