I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
