look no pants
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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