based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
