Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
