So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
