woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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