Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
