My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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