Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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