Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
