3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
