Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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