you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
