Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
