Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
