Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are we still banned from the library?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god it's open bar.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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