; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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