Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
