ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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