Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
