Fuck appropriateness.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
