I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
