So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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