try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
