I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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