did you get engaged???
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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