dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
