This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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