YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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