bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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