You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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