hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
