i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
