Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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