If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
