I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How external is "for external use only"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
