He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
