Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i will never coherently bang her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
