im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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