i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
