forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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