I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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