i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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